Variety magazine reported in September that there will be a new Knight Rider pilot airing on NBC soon. Doug Liman (yes, the guy that ruined Transformers) will be the “mastermind” behind the concept of the show, and they will most likely air this two-hour pilot in place of a rerun of Heroes or Bionic Woman.

I really didnt think much of this news until a teaser video appeared on WebRidesTV.com, and after watching that 30-seconds of heart-wrenching heresy, I feel the need to rant for a minute.

Never before have I seen so many sins in so little time. Doug Liman is at it again, ruining yet another beloved franchise with corporate bullshit. First, he takes Bumble Bee from Transformers and CHANGES FROM A VW BEETLE TO A CAMARO, and now, he turns KITT into a MUSTANG!!! WHAT?

Now, Doug Liman is on deck to ruin my beloved Knight Rider, and he has successfully done so in only 30 seconds.

There are two big uglies in this teaser:

1. ITS NOT A FUCKING PONTIAC TRANS AM
2. MICHAEL’s NAME IS MICHAEL, NOT MIKE!

I digress. Yes, it’s not going to be the original storyline. Yes, Pontiac doesn’t really have anything cool enough to be called KITT right now. The good news is that it appears the Hoff will still be Michael Knight, but that raises the question, who is this Mike that KITT refers to in the teaser? The obligartory cast list is Justin Bruening, Deanna Russo, Sydney Tamiia Poitier and Bruce Davison… None of which really float my boat, except for the timeless anti-hair-removal manliness that is The Hoff.

In this, the day of geriatric actors reviving themselves for sequels to long-forgotten projects, it’s still a little sad to see the extreme LACK OF CREATIVITY from the creative people at major networks. With as many millions as we’re spending on entertainment, can we please have something NEW to enjoy, instead of endless amounts of recreations? What exactly are these writers on strike for, anyway?

I’m going to have to watch the pilot of this new show with a box of tissues handy. I’ll also have to remember that: Knight Rider will NOT be what you know it to be, and therefore should not hold the same name in my eye. The latest generation of kids’ lunch boxes will never be the same.

We still bring lunch boxes to school, right? Or has Liman changed that too? What’s next? Airwolf as a leer jet?

/rant