With gas prices skyrocketing (the national average is $4.10 for regular nationwide), Americans are putting more effort in looking for alternative means of transportation. In a recent Associated Press article I was perusing, I found out that demand for Segway electric scooters is increasing at a rapid rate. For all of you unfamiliar with the Segway, it is a self-balancing electric scooter that can take a person about 25 miles before needing to be recharged at a top speed of just over 12 miles per hour.

After reading this article I began to question the people who ponied up the $5,000 dollars for one of these back alley abortions (thank Dr. VW for that term). What are these people thinking? I am all for saving gas as I drive a gas eater myself but at what point did America forget about the f****** BICYCLE!?!?! Why would someone spend that kind of money on a glorified mo-ped when they could spend less than 10% of that on a decent bicycle. Are we getting that lazy that we can’t even walk/ride short distances? I mean come on, if one were sitting while riding a Segway then it might not look so ridiculous but that fact that one must stand and lean forward to move makes for one hilariously entertaining sight. I don’t care how happy those people in the above picture look, there is no way I could ever take someone on a Segway seriously who scuttled by me. Sure when I ride my bike I get a little tired and sweaty but at least I have some sense of accomplishment seeing as I am the only thing powering my movement.

What makes it worse is that before this high demand for the Segway took off, every time I went to the beach I had to look at police officers putt putting around on a Segway because riding bikes has lost its appeal to them. How am I supposed to take a cop seriously that motors up to me on his scooter while he stands a full two feet above me wearing his nifty safety gear? At least when they were riding bikes I could have a smidgen of respect for them but now that they have switched to the Segway….I don’t even want to start.

(Bicycle: est. 1865)