We’re not 100% sure what “Judge’s Choice” means either, but for the last two races it has been awarded to the team that has kept us the most entertained. In South Carolina it was the fast-talking Thunderturds. At Fernley? Without question the Junk Yard Dogs. Only thing is, for 98% of the race we didn’t know their name, calling them either the Mad Max team or the crazy pink-haired German guy’s team. And really, these cats were crazy. Jump.

First of all, neither they nor their car had any business being within 500 yards of a race track. Like lotsa LeMons team, collectively the three of them had zero racing experience. Unlike all other LeMons teams, the power windows in their hella hoopty Toyota Celica still worked. As did the the sunroof. These nuts were so amateur that they left the 80-pound rear hatch in place. In fact, I’m sure their car was heavier once they were done decorating it. Moreover, they were awful, awful drivers. Not just slow, but prone to spins, two-wheels off and passing under yellow. We saw the JY Dogs early and often in the penalty box.

Thing was, we couldn’t punish them! No matter what we came up with, they loved it. Case in point: the JYDs were the first recipient of our totally brilliant Burning Man Penalty, which involves shoving the entire team into a two-man tent with the very worst techno crap music a raver friend of man could find. Hell on earth, really. And these dang fools loved it. In fact, they just danced the whole time.

We took ‘em on a parade behind the (now deceased) Bus, blasting the Soviet Anthem. All they had to do was one lap, but they opted to follow us around until the Bus ran out of gas (during lap three). At one point late in the race Dominic (pink hair) comes in for a black flag and I ask him, “Do you want to race or get punished?” In the most sincere voice I’ve ever heard he replies, “Both.” Good job guys. See you at Buttonwillow.

I think one more picture is in order, don’t you?

[Photos by Nick Pon & Tim Odell]